Paul Gary Reff

   Paul “Gary” Reff, 83, passed away peacefully in his sleep at Summit Village on Wednesday, November 5th, 2025.  Gary was born on a frigid Wednesday, February 9, 1942, in West Carthage, to Paul Reff and Margaret Tabolt Reff.  He was the oldest of 16 children born to the couple.  

   Gary grew up on East Line Road in Clayton, NY, and as a teen moved to Depauville to live with his grandparents, Leon and Genevieve Reff.  Gary attended St. Mary’s Catholic School and it was at Clayton Central School that he met the girl he would spend the rest of his life with, Carol Ludlow.  Gary and Carol were married on September  2nd, 1961.  They would raise their family, retire and live out their golden years in the hamlet of Depauville.

   Gary always told wonderful stories of working on his grandparent’s farm and time spent with his grandfather and grandmother.  He went on to work for a time at Emerson Builders and for Jefferson County Highway Dept along with his brother, Tommy.  When an opportunity came about for a temporary job at Graphic Controls in Clayton he took the job.  Gary retired from that job shortly after they closed the Clayton plant in 1994.  Once his career as a press operator ended, Gary went to work for the Thousand Island Bridge Authority as a groundskeeper in the summer months, he and Carol spending the long north country winters in Crescent City, FL where they formed great friendships with people that incidentally lived in their backyard in New York.  Gary’s last job would be his most meaningful and rewarding of his life – caring for Carol in her final years until she passed on July 4, 2021.

   Gary worked hard his whole life to help build a wonderful life for his family and when the grandchildren, great grandchildren and his great great granddaughter came along, the tradition of family, food and fun continued.  Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve were a family affair every year, everyone gathering for the best meals and family time of the season.  Gary and Carol enjoyed traveling, attending social events, dancing all night until the band stopped playing, trips to the casino, hosting Saturday night card parties on a regular basis and backyard barbecues every summer.  A favorite pastime, attending Classic Car Shows, Gary loved his 1934 Ford Coupe even if it just sat in the driveway.  He was an avid hunter, sitting in the woods for years at daybreak and dusk every day during hunting season, traveling to southern tier with friends and family to extend the season.  He always enjoyed stock car racing, at one point having part ownership in the Keith Davis racing team and sponsoring his grandson, Nick’s, go kart team.  Whether dirt or asphalt, a local track or Nascar, he truly enjoyed attending or just watching, proudly sporting a Jeff Gordon or Jimmy Johnson hat.  Sunday was also a big football day, cheering on the Washington Redskins.

   Gary’s whole world was his family and as a family we always knew we could count on him for anything we ever needed or wanted.  He was a devoted husband and father, a fun, spirited, active grandfather and more importantly a wonderful man.  His most recent years he spent staying with his daughters and son, all insisting that he come stay, hoping to repay our gratitude for the wonderful life our father had provided all of us for our whole lives.

   Gary, always rich in family, is survived by his two daughters, Bernice (Scott) Clark, Largo, FL and Lori (Richard) Grey, Lafargeville, NY; his son, Marc (Terri) Reff, Ontario, NY;  ten grandchildren, Scott, Justin, Ian (Chev) and Jordan Clark, Travis (Sarah), Ethan and Hart Grey, Chelsea (AJ) Bogino, Ashley and Nicholas Reff;  seven great grandchildren, Cayden, Taylor and Emma Grey, Charli Clark, Jack Clark, Cecelia Bogino and Larson Reff with three more great grandchildren on the way and one great great granddaughter, Althena Grey.  Gary leaves behind five brothers, Thomas (Mary) of Altmar, Ronald  (Mary), Gold Canyon, AZ, Michael of Constantia, Patrick of Constantia and Philip, Oshawa, Ontario, Canada; six sisters, Rose (Ernest) Ludlow, West Monroe, Shirley Chisamore of Oshawa Ontario, Canada, Gail (Edgar) Countryman, Carthage; Lynn Phelps, Central Square, Janey (Michael) Spry, North Syracuse, and Paula Hamlin, Raleigh, NC; sister in law, Becky Reff, Mooresville NC; Aunt Katherine (Kate) Busby, Watertown and numerous nieces, nephews, cousins and good friends.

   Gary is preceded in death by his wife of 59 years, Carol, his parents, Paul and Margaret Reff, two brothers, Richard and Joseph, two sisters, Suzanne Ludlow and Dianne Hansson and brothers-in-law Dale Phelps and Henry Chisamore.

Arrangements are complete with Cummings Funeral Service at 320 John Street, Clayton.  Calling hours will be Tuesday, November 11th from 4 to 7 pm; the funeral mass honoring a life well lived will be celebrated at St Mary’s Church, 521 James Street, Clayton at 11 am on Wednesday, November 12th. Online condolences to his family may be posted at www.cummingsfuneral.com.

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